Imagine if you got hurt, really bad, like emotional pain, for say you had your heart broken, imagine if it literally killed you, instead of just feeling like its killing you. How many of us would be dead?
I’ve set up an Advice & Support Facebook page. I want to dedicate my time to helping others, this is how i’ve chose to do it.
If you could be kind enough to give it a like, would be greatly appreciated.
This is my scar from April 2012. My last and final suicide attempt, I don’t regret it, it’s part of me, i hate seeing it it was my biggest mistake, but it’s not a regret. I cover it with bracelets so i don’t have to see it, i hate thinking about all the people i hurt with this.
But what happened was after the big build up of everything that happened to me over the years, with the bullying, abusive relationships, other kinds of abuse, depression, family problems and other things, it finally all just hit me.
I thought i was the problem, i thought it was my fault. i thought i deserved everything that had happened to me, i felt worthless, i felt like no one needed me, everyone was angry because of me, everyone bullied me because there was actually a problem with me. I hated myself, more than anyone should. I wanted to cause harm to myself, i was self destructive and didn’t care about what happened to me in the tiniest little bit because it seemed like no one else did either.
So one night i decided to end it all, i decided i didn’t want to hurt anyone any more, i didn’t want to be the cause of other peoples sadness, so i thought i would take myself away, making everyone happy.
Obviously and thankfully i failed, i was hospitalized. I woke up with my mum and dad looking very disappointed and angry, when i woke up i thought about it a lot. Thought about why i did this to myself, why i did it to other people, i realized i wasn’t the problem, i just needed to open my eyes properly and see people really did care, i got home to loads of messages on tumblr and twitter, loads of texts. I felt so stupid. I’m not glad i did it, no, but I’m glad what it taught me, people out there are going to try put you down, hurt you, make you feel like you are worth nothing at all, make you feel like you’re not even worth the air you breathe, but then the people who care about you, love everyhing about you, love you for who you are and accept you in all forms are the people who make it all worth while.
So to anyone who thinks of taking the road i tried to take, don’t. People do care, more than you think. I’m here to help you if you need me. Follower or not, i love you, i care, i wouldn’t wish the feelings i felt that night upon anyone, ever.
Chin up guys. - breathe<3.
Tumblr: where i post my deepest, darkest thoughts for complete strangers to read and possibly relate to even though i lie to my closest friends, pretending i’m okay.
Hi, i just need to vent a little. I fake smiles when im with people because i don’t want them to watch me break down. I laugh when i want to scream and cry. I cover my arms with long sleeves and bracelets. I do everything i can to convince the world i’m okay. But see times like these, when you can’t hide it, when the tears fall and you can’t laugh any more when you sit in the room with that blade in your hand and try not to go back to it, when you reach that stage, i think it’s when you know you’re broken.
i don’t want to do this any more.
i hate my life.. I mean it, i don’t say it for sympathy or attention, i honestly sit and think about everything and end up in floods of tears.. I hate how everything in my life has ended up. Honestly, kinda wish i wasn’t here any more.
I am worthless. Even when people tell me how much i’m worth, i may fake a smile, but deep down, I’m still aware of how completely worthless i truly am.